My name is Chris, Ive lost track of time. It feels like years since I first started running, but I think its only been a few months. Days turn to weeks, and the weeks drags on, such is the new way of life. And yet, despite the violence and chaos, I dont really miss the old world...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Defensive measures

       "Its been brought to my attention that the weather is beginning to change.  I didn't get every ones attention for that alone, but for what is going to happen with the changing of the s-seasons."  The longer I stand up, the dizzier I get.  This won't go too well, I'm dying up here...  But as always, I find that I am not alone.  Lucy brings me a stool and takes over the dialogue for me.  "The weather is getting warmer, and with that comes the walkers again.  We need the fences around our warehouse up and reinforced by the time the frozen ones are up and roaming again.  This also means we need to prepare in case we find ourselves overwhelmed by those things."  She takes a step back and puts her hand on my shoulder, before continuing her speech.  "We have those here among us who have fought them back time and time again, remaining untouched by whatever caused this outbreak, whether it be natural immunity or direct contact with the undead."  Suddenly everyone shifts their gaze towards me.  I see hope in some of their faces, others are apprehensive.  As expected, the person she is referring to as the "teacher" just woke up from a week long coma.  I wouldn't really trust me to teach either...  But I shake such thoughts away.  I may not be confident, but as long as I seem confident that is all that matters to them.  "I may not be quite the person you expect, but then again what is as it seems these days.  But you know that, what I'm here to teach is how to fight.   You can run and run, but the undead will catch up to you eventually.  And when that time comes, I want you to make a stand.  Make a stand you can walk away from.  Its going to take me some time to recover, but when I do I promise you I will have you ready to reclaim your old lives."  The speech swept over me, I had never felt so driven to work with a group as I had now.  My teaching in the future could save lives.  Not just remember produce codes or remind them to offer stupid shit, but truly live.  For this, the first time in my life, I was proud to help someone else.
              Lucy informs the group that repairing the fence comes first, and by the time we had finished our 'spring cleaning' as she called it, we would work on defending ourselves.Of course the thought of doing something else than simply surviving sounded ludicrous, nobody outwardly complained.  Their faces said enough.  One by one the dispersed from the crowd, some opting to return to their conversations, others had headed upstairs to sleep.  Those were the ones that I had a feeling knew what laid ahead.  The others would be a hassle at first, but a quick dose of what was stumbling beyond these walls would sober them up fast.  Lucy helps me off the stool as we head upstairs I mention we should head to the roof.  "Its quiet there and the fresh air helps with the nausea."  I mention as we slowly make our way upstairs, sneaking past those who chose to retire for the night early.  The collective breathing of everyone sort of creates a white noise, giving the room a sense of calm and peace.  Quite the feeling to be having in these dark days...  Making our way to the rooftop, I make my way to the lip of the roof, taking in what little I could see in the pitch black night.  It was so much darker without streetlights to light the roads or sky.  "Its funny how the end of the world can bring about a feeling of complete calm, despite the fact that as a species we are dangerously close to extinction..."I trail off as I gaze up towards the inky sky, what was once barely populated by stars was now full.  It was like a dream, the head wound seemed to disprove that theory.  The cold air out here was making it ache, although it did wonders for my nausea.  Leaning on the lip next to me she gazes skyward, "Yeah, its times like these that we definitely need to take the time to enjoy things we would have otherwise ignored in out day to day lives.  I wish Brock would realize that.  Hes so busy keeping us locked away, insisting that we will be rescued.  He has stopped living, he used to be adventurous."  She sighs as she pushes off the lip, heading towards the door.  "Get some rest kid, we have work to do in the morning.  Don't think you get off easy because you're wounded, we have examples to set."  She giggles as she heads downstairs for sleep.
                  I stay on the roof for some time, Occasionally my gaze falls to the land below me, scanning for any signs of life below.  Its hard to look for movement in pure shadow, but I can hear moaning in the distance.  Those things are out and hungry.  And its my fault.  My explosion lured them out of their warm surroundings.  I have to make up for this...  If it hadn't been for me, that explosion wouldn't have happened, those things would have remained in their buildings until... Until what?  Someone went looting for supplies and opened the Pandora's box of walking death?!  I was going in circles, It was my fault, but if I didn't do it now, someone else would have unleashed them.  For now, I caused their early release, it was my responsibility to make sure that all they did was walk.  I realized as I slowly made my way downstairs, Ive changed quite a bit since I left work that almost surreal night.  Ive been forced to grow up.  Not in a its-high-time-you-got-a-job way, but more of a this literally depends on your survival scenario.  I always talked a big game about being bad ass and being able to do anything, but when I got down to it, I was afraid.  Afraid to try, but mostly afraid to fail.  Funny how being eaten alive will coax you into doing almost anything.  I make my way to the room where my stuff had been set as I brush aside such thought and replaced them with memories of happier days, when my biggest worry was getting rid of that hangover before I had to go into work.  Drifting off was easier with the sound of so many around me sleeping.  I barely remember laying down before I was dead to the world.

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