My name is Chris, Ive lost track of time. It feels like years since I first started running, but I think its only been a few months. Days turn to weeks, and the weeks drags on, such is the new way of life. And yet, despite the violence and chaos, I dont really miss the old world...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Loss

     Stairs flying underneath panicked feet as we made our way to the roof, hoping Steven wasn't about to do what Carmen feared he would.  "Were almost there!  Just one more flight!" she exclaimed as we made it to the flight that led to the rooftop door.  Hand reaching out as I made my way to the door, I turn the doorknob and push with all my weight.  Thunk.  My body crashed into the locked door, stunning me for a few seconds.  Carmen managed to stop before she crashed into me, only to question why I hadn't made it outside yet. "What do you mean its locked?!"  She said, not wanting to believe me.  I jiggle the handle loudly to show her that I wasn't messing around.  "He doesn't want us up there." I said as I prepare myself to kick the door down.  "Stand back, I'm going to try and open it."  As she backs away from me I examine the door.  No use, it opens from the inside.  "Alright, I'm really going to need you to stand back, like a lot farther." I say as I undo the strap on my gun. Only ever seeing this done in movies, I pray for the best.  setting the sights on the locking mechanism, I fire twice.  Shrapnel explodes from the door. Flying past me the first time, but catching my cheek the second time.  The door creaked open, and I snatched the handle and flung it open, the fluorescent light bathing the helicopter and surrounding area on the roof.
        Rushing out on the rooftop I look around, I see nothing, but Carmen runs ahead and around the chopper and begins pleading.  "Steven, baby you don't need to do this.  We know what happened, we have been through it.  Every one of us!  Please just, just step down."  I rushed as soon as I heard her say don't.  Coming around the nose of the chopper I see Steven on the lip of the roof, looking down some twenty stories.  I begin to try and talk him down when I hear a pair of feet running up the stairs behind me.  Please don't let it be the fat guy, hes done enough damage already.  "Steve, hey, come on down.  We need you alive.  The more the merrier right?"  Hoping I wasn't making him even angrier.  "The reason we have all come so far is survival.  If you jump now, what was the point of all the running?"  I edge closer, but he seems to want his space. "That's just it, I'm tired of running.  Where are we going?  Everywhere we go, those things are.  I don't think there even IS a safe place.  For that matter, where do you plan on going?"  taking his gaze from the abyss to me, I reply.  "Home, I'm going back home to Alaska.  I don't care if its safe or not.  But I'm not letting those undead freaks win.  Even if I have to clear a path myself!" Unintentionally getting angry, I step forward. "Why are you giving up? Sure you lost everything.  We all have.  We wouldn't be together in the first place.  I'm not going to lie, if it wasn't for survival I wouldn't have jumped on the helicopter when I did.  But I did it to survive.  Now, step down from the ledge." I ease closer holding my hand out, praying to whatever was up there that he would grab it and come down.  He looks at my hand and waves it away.  "I'm done running, but you feel free to run straight into the mouths of those....things."  He begins to turn to the ledge.  "How dare you.  What would they think?  I may have never met your family, but do you think for a fucking second that they would want this!?"  Carmen was fed up, unable to let this go she steps towards the ledge to pull him down herself.  "Don't touch me.  Ill drag you with me if I have to."  So much hate from someone my age, I thought as I saw her eyes widen at his promise.  Tears welling in her eyes she walks away.  "You may not think it, but I will always remember you and love you." Unable to control her sobbing she walked away.  Running into Jason as she made her way to the stairwell.  "Steven...don't. We need all the help we can get.  Don't leave us."  I look into his eyes and see a sort of clear I hadn't seen in him in the time we met.  "I'm free." Steven fell backwards out of sight.  I rushed to the rooftop to try and grab him
         I look down to see Steven speeding down to the cement headfirst.I tried to scream his name but my voice is gone.  I hear the sickening crunch as he hit the pavement below.  I look and see a crowd surrounding his remains.  Turning back I drop, losing the feeling in my legs.  This was the most interaction I had had with Steven ever and he was gone.  Before I would have not cared, but I did now.  Maybe it was because there was one less human left in what seemed to be an ever shrinking number.  The farther we went the less we saw alive.  I had hope that my final destination was safe, even if it wasn't, it was somewhere that I wouldn't mind dying.  It may sound grim, but I don't know how bad this has gotten.  I hadn't noticed Jason looking over the roof next to me as I rose on unsteady legs.  "He...he did it didn't he?" Was all he could say as he looked at my distraught face.  "I passed Carmen on the way up.  Damnit

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